From Fashion Week 2016: File Under Highly Questionable

For some reason blogs never seem to saying anything less than glowing about fashion week. But isn't that kind of like giving every kid a trophy just for trying? I mean, we can't all be winners right? To that end here are a few things that struck a wrong chord this past season.

Weird Body Emphasis

weird Body Emphasis

Okay, I get wanting to place emphasis on certain body parts. Normally this is done with things like cut-outs which highlight cleavage or legs. Marco De Vincenzo's optical illusion makes it look like she has only one boob, while Alessandro's top for Gucci put bright red flowers that kind of function like over-sized pasties on a flat chested model which could inspire bad jokes about blossoming buds... Then there's Dolce & Gabbana's wheel that could double as target practice if you're targeting a pudendum. However that might be considered subtle in comparison to Moschino's arrow pointing to the same region that helpfully says "Entrance". (Actually Jeremy Scott gets points for not even pretending to be anything but obvious and campy in his approach)

PS women don't want to look like cows

ProenzaSchouler Proenza Schouler make great bags. Seriously their PS series have achieved near cult like status and if you go to their site bags are what you first see. And in their defense normally I think they make some pretty amazing clothes but I was struck by how awful these pieces were. Guys, no woman wants to look like a cow (and I did an unscientific test where I showed the black and white dress image to many people and without any coaching they all said "oh, that looks like a cow") and if a model looks bad the average woman is going to look...well I can't even think about it.

Inspired by Nasty Gal

SaintLaurent_Forever21_NastyGal The last of my ire goes to Hedi Slimane's latest Saint Laurent collection. Fast fashion is always accused of stealing looks from major designers because let's face it: it happens. (see this if you're clueless on the subject) But never have I seen the reverse and to such perfection. This collection looks like it's straight from the racks of Forever 21 and Nasty Gal. Seriously, if I wanted to waste time I would have found these same looks on those sites to prove it to you. But I don't have to because you know exactly what I'm talking about. And when I think of the legacy of Yves Saint Laurent I find this a very sad state of affairs. For realz, yo. I don't have any issues with slip dresses, denim overall shorts or graphic animal sweaters (though I prefer Kenzo's tiger from a few seasons back). But I do object to the idea that this is anything new or how much it costs when I can buy basically the same thing in the local mall if I want. Which, you know, I don't. However for the most part the fashion cognoscenti has completely sipped this particular kool-aid so I can't see the Saint Laurent's look changing anytime soon.

Fashion Week Trends -S/S 2016

Okay, let's see: there's the '70s, gender-free, fringe, new neutrals, new colors, new denim (especially wider and frayed)and an emphasis on fabrication like the use of laser cut or embroidery - both because the end product is more beautiful and more difficult for fast fashion to rip-off. But looking at the month of fashion weeks it struck me that there is an edginess right now in fashion that is reflecting the edginess in life. As the worldwide economic recovery seems to never fully recover (creating a legion of freelancers, air b-n-bers, UBER drivers and people in their 20s still living with Mom) and ISIS keeps growing and the refugee situation keeps worsening...it's no wonder it feels like the entire world of fashion lives on Xanax and champagne. With that in mind here are the trends that caught my eye.

Pattern Overload

patternOverload

Sure we've seen "print on print" for awhile now. But this season it's positively vibrating. I feel like I have ADD just looking at these.

Plaidness

Plaidness

Plaid for spring evokes neither coy schoolgirl nor Kurt Cobain. It's more of a "Go Big or Go Home" kind of statement.

My 3 Year Old Dressed Me

My3YrOldDressedMe

"Oh, I want to wear that. And that. And that too." Anyone who has ever had or  been a little girl knows this story. Apparently designers like this idea too! Seriously take the first three things in your closet and put them on and you could look completely on trend. I am not judging, just observing...although I will add that I do not even begin to understand the hype around Vetements and what Balenciaga is thinking!

Candy Girls

Alexander McQueen, Mary Katranzou, Louis Vuitton, Roberto Cavalli

I don't know if these looks are inspired by the Japanese Lolita girls or are simply their wet dreams but wearing these looks can give you a sugar high.

A Touch of '80s

ATouchof80s

Am I the only one hearing "Tainted Love" when looking at these images? The past few seasons have really had a '60s mod or '70s vibe but I am here to tell you that the '80s is coming back. So raid Grandma's closet and your local thrift store for toppers that make you look like a footballer (of the American variety)

Punk Princess

punkPrincess

Punk is never dead. 'nough said.

Next post: Fashion Week Hall of Shame!